I got life, and I'm going to keep it…

The refresh button has been clicked so many times on Ali’s screen and mine so many

times over the last 24 hours; with joy, with pain, with excitement, with boredom, with

patience, with edginess…the deadline arrived and I sing “…ain’t got no home, ain’t

got no…what I have got nobody can take away?”

I read the lines in the email:

…I just noticed your contest in the newspaper here in Canada, and realized that it

ends in 2 hours. I was just wondering if you do this sort of thing every year, because I

would love to attend it…

…the muscles on my face move…I believe it’s called smile…

“…ain’t no money, ain’t no name…”

Someone from Nigeria wrote:

…the internet went down, my essay is on its way though; can I have an extension?

…phone conversations late at night: ´we can extend the deadline, can’t we?!’

So here is the news, if you have missed the deadline, your chance is not lost yet:

NEW DEADLINE:

14th April 2011

9:00 PM GMT

Write, write and write…

I got life, and I'm going to keep it [1]…

[1] This piece is inspired by Nina Simon’s song titled Ain’t Got No, I Got Life

…one more time…

You have read the news today, haven’t you?!

If you follow the news on none-biased media, you must have noticed how selective the human rights have been? Or perhaps it has been like this forever, and I, naively, have thought that this was not the case before? or at least not all the times...

I still have not recovered from the Thursday news, let alone the reports about what has happened in Iraq this morning…tell me you know what I am talking about, you have read the news today, right?

…one more time, we have experienced that human life has no value when it comes to political agendas…

…excuse me; I’m too down to write…I’m too hopeless to write…I’m too broken to write…

…one more time…it is the toughest thing to do, to close my eyes…have you closed yours?!

What went through his mind in the last moment?

I used to have a simple life:

making plans,
following the plans,
making new plans

…no distraction, no interruption, everything was very simple and according to the plan…

This, was before I do “activism”[1].

This activism has made me extremely tired[2] and yet I am not among the ones whose lives have tremendously changed after the Presidential Election in Iran in June 2009; I am not among the ones who have spent every single moment of their lives to make a change in the system; I am not among the ones who had to leave their home after the election to save their lives; I am not among the ones whose dreams have been vanished and gone…yet, I am extremely exhausted and tired…I promised myself to leave this way of living soon, to go back to my simple life, to go back to live according to the plan, for my own sanity and for my child…I promised myself that IPY International Essay Contest will be my last project in so called “activism”…I did promise this to myself…yet, I am afraid I’m going to disappoint myself and break my promise as I read this headline news this morning:

The man who set himself on fire yesterday in Amsterdam at Dam Square, died in the hospital this morning. The 36-years old man was an Iranian asylum seeker whose case was rejected and closed!

One question has been going through my mind over and over:

“what went through his mind in the last moment?”

It seems life is not going to be simple, or as simple as it used to be…unless…unless there is a change...

---

[1] Point of clarification: I have mentioned before that I am not an activist or academic. Doing activism is not necessarily equal to being an activist, at least, by my definition.

[2] As I wrote in my first post, these are my confessions…so I confess: I am extremely tired…

There is a fire starting in my heart...

…indeed there is a fire starting in my heart[1]…actually there has been a fire in my heart since that bloody election…some days it reaches the pitch and pushes me to the edge…but don’t get me wrong: I’m not gonna give up…the fire burns me inside out, but… I’m not gonna give up…

Since June 2009 this has been the ‘basic information’ about me on the social network:

..."I move on" that's a fact, as the clouds do in my little sky...but every single night when I go to bed, with or without you, I think to myself how big of a crime is to ask "where is my VOTE?"...

There is a fire in my heart…

This post is to the ones who are in power, the ones who are unlawfully and illegitimately in power:

We have seen you crystal clear…the world has seen you crystal clear…don’t underestimate the things that we will do…the scares of your brutality and hostility on our bodies and minds; yet, our souls are ours and you can never ever break that…

There is a fire in my heart…

You are gonna wish, never had done this to us…you think you have made a home down there, but Iran is ours and for sure won’t be shared with you…we have the truth on our side…the future is ours since the change is in “our” hands…

There is a fire starting in OUR hearts…

---

[1] The title is taken from the song “Rolling in the Deep” by Adele. This whole post is inspired by this song.

for her…for him…for you…for me…

I’ve been facebooking all day, since morning that I opened my eyes and updated my status by this dialogue:

The doctor: take one every night till the 10^th week.
The pharmacist: do you want a pack of 30 or 90?
Myself: 90.
Me: don’t let me down…

...and the whole day went like this, about book donations, about Juliano Mer Khamis, about Spring Dance, about IPY’s announcement on Enduring America…

Though in all these hours one post constantly reappeared on Facebook LiveFeed: Bahareh Hedayat’s 30^th Birthday, she is not much older than me, just a few months…I proudly introduced her to the audience last year on Iranian National Students’ Day, in the conference that IPY held at Delft University, Focus Iran II…I listened to her speech over and over…over the last year, I listened to her speech over and over…very soon after that speech she was arrested…

I keep reading about her, I keep writing about her…I keep writing about him…I keep writing about you…I keep writing about me…

This – this contest and anything else that I do – is for her…is for him…is for you…is for me…I won’t let her hair turn to the colour of her teeth in prison…

Keep writing…

It’s the time…it’s the time to introduce you to our jury…

This post is going to be short and dense.

It is my honour to introduce you to the JURY of Iranian Progressive Youth’s International Essay Contest 2011.

(in alphabetic order)
Francesco Maiolo - University College Utrecht (Assistant Professor - Political Science);

Marietje Schaake - European Parliament (D66 political party, the social-liberals from the Netherlands);

Herman Tak - Roosevelt Academy (Associate Professor - European Anthropology);

Arjen de Wolff - Executive Director of Radio Zamaneh;

and IPY’s Board.

Have you ever imagined that your work could have been assessed and evaluated by such a mix and diverse group?

Don’t miss the chance…

step 3…

I received an email two days ago from someone in Tunisia! She/he wanted to know whether the contest is open for non-Iranians as well; and of course the answer is YES.

I also received an email from someone in Pennsylvania…and another email from…and another one from…

The call for essays for this contest has gone through most of the Dutch Universities and University Colleges in the Netherlands and some had promoted our contest directly as well, for instance, Amsterdam University College made a publication about this contest in its Weekly Announcement, Roosevelt Academy also made an announcement on their Facebook Page about this contest, The Alumni Association of University College Utrecht also published this contest on their website.

Almost all the European Student Associations (including UK) have been contacted as well and we have received positive and supportive responses from many of them to name a few: The Student Association of University of Luxembourg, The Student Union of Latvia, The Student Associations in Italy, International Student Offices throughout Scotland.

Some Universities in United States have also been contacted, through our personal network and Prof. Moalem from UC Berkeley, department of Gender and Women’s Studies took the lead in promoting this contest among her students… and same with some Universities in Australia.

Moreover organizations like:

AWID: Association For Women’s Right In Development;

Dena Publication in the Netherlands;

Expatica: News and Information for the International Community;

Radio Zamaneh;

Enduring America;

Arseh Sevom;

Mezrab: the Cultural Centre in East Amsterdam;

United4Iran;

…and others...have also kindly promoted our International Essay Contest through their websites and networks.

How have you been informed? And who have you informed afterwards? It’s a chain…pass it on…